Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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