Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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