I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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