But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
