I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
