Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just want nice things and good sex
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
