"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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