When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize