is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
