i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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