There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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