My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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