I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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