I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
