Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
