I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
