No I am not eating basil off your cock
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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