the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
