If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He shit in the fireplace
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
