I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
