if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
