i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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