We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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