I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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