How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
