Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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