If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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