Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
