They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
