Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
