covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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