so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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