did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
