I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My dick has a subreddit
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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