week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
