What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
