didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
