You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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