I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
