im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
