Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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