...so i touched it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
