the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
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eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
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He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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