do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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