So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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