I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
