I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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