I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
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It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.