Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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