that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.