yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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