Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'