If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.