Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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