just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
