What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
