I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
