school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
