ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
