Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
