I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
