I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
